Blog 2: The Family and the Internet 

By: Elise Osborn 

In this growing society, technology is becoming much more prevalent and intertwined in our day-to-day lives. The rapid growth of various technological advancements is propelling every individual around the world into rather unknown territory. What I mean by this is that we don’t fully understand the true outcomes, whether good or bad, that these advancements have in our lives but specifically their effects on our communicative behaviors. Instead, these results are slowly coming to the surface through observations and research.  

The main technological advancement that has severely affected the world is the creation of the internet, and all the devices that allow us to have access to this online realm such as smartphones. The internet can be a wonderful place, it can build connections between people, share relevant information, find and give support, provide entertainment, etc. But at the same time the internet bears some consequences because it’s unregulated, which allows for cruel deeds such as cyberbullying, sex trafficking, and online sexual harassment to take place (Symons et al., 2020). Overuse of the internet can trap individuals mentally if used excessively, otherwise known as an internet addiction (Arif et al., 2022). The effects of this addiction or excessive use of the internet have diminished and interrupted face-to-face communication and can lead to mental health problems arising in individuals (Arif et al., 2022). 

 The internet has both good and bad aspects, but the truth of the matter is that the internet will not be going away. Instead of just letting the internet wreak havoc on our lives, we can instead act now by encouraging and guiding healthy online behaviors. The start and execution for this can be within the family. In this next section I will be going over the association of family and parent-child communication with online interactions and behaviors. 

Parents, Family, and the Internet  

As I have mentioned in my previous blog, the family is often the starting point for individuals to generate a sense of self and be socialized into how to communicate (Fitzpatrick, 2004). But this doesn’t apply just in face-to-face interactions, it can also impact online interactions. The relationship between family and technology is not a one-way road, rather it’s a two-sided street. Family communication patterns and parent-child communication affect how an individual uses the internet. In other words, online communication patterns are derived from the patterns displayed offline.  

One offline communication pattern that impacts online behaviors can be directly attributed to parent-child communication is the development of a child’s social self-efficacy. I briefly described social self-efficacy in my prior blog, but to reiterate it is the belief of an individual to exhibit and perform acceptable behaviors in interactions with other people (Jang & Kim, 2012). Social self-efficacy is developed and strengthened through continuous open communication between a parent and child. A child that has a higher social self-efficacy is more communicatively competent which would make them less likely to avoid conversations with other people, including interactions with others in online communities (Jang & Kim, 2012; Ledbetter, 2010). If you feel competent to communicate with others in real life, then the same also applies to communication occurring online.  

Social self-efficacy is an important belief to have and improve on because it’s a steppingstone to promoting and furthering yourself in this society. Especially regarding the internet, high social self-efficacy can lead to high levels of effective communication and is beneficial, or rather necessary to have online interactions for both personal and professional reasons. The best way to begin this development of strong social self-efficacy is through open communication, and the earlier you start in life the better so the best place to teach would be in the family.  

Another notable way that family or parent-child communication patterns affect online attitudes is the decision of who to friend on social media. In a research study published in 2013, researchers found that emerging young adults were more likely to add their parents as a friend on Facebook if they had a good relationship maintained through open and ongoing communication between the two (Bell et al., 2013). Not only does open communication play a role in a child deciding to befriend their parents on Facebook, but also the amount of conformity displayed within the family can affect how a child maintains relationships online and how much they may disclose about themselves. In families where the parents prioritized face-to-face communication and stressed the importance of interpersonal relationships through rules, their children are more likely to follow those same social rules in online-mediated relationships (Ledbetter, 2010). But at the same time, due to the conforming environment that may also promote the child to seek refuge to people on the internet and may be more willing to disclose personal information about themselves in fear that they may not receive support from their parents (Ledbetter, 2010).  

Overall, open communication within families and parent-child communication is important to the development of healthy attitudes towards the internet. But at the same time, conformity plays an equally important role in guiding those behaviors to be truly effective. The next section of this blog will stress the importance of both conformity and conversation within the family and give some communication skill builders to generate these conversations within your own family.  

The Next Steps – How to Make it Happen 

Now let’s take a step back and take a broad look at everything listed above. All these effective communication behaviors derive from the family, but specifically from an environment of open communication. To summarize, open communication between a parent and child builds their social efficacy, builds, and maintains relationships. Open communication is great, but too much without guidance, rules, or boundaries can become troublesome. In Family Communications Patterns Theory (FCPT), please refer to blog 1 for an in-depth explanation and definitions of key concepts, there are four family communication patterns that interact on a scale of high to low of two orientations: conversation and conformity. Open communication would be considered high on the conversation scale; this behavior would be demonstrated in consensual and pluralistic families. But in these patterns, there is also the presence of conformity, which is the behavior of families to have a sense of unity amongst family members. Families high in conformity are rule-based and would emphasize the following of these rules amongst family members (Ledbetter, 2010).  

The interactions of both orientations within families is important to observe and apply to conversations concerning the internet. Open communication about the internet, what to expect and how to interact with others on it are vital conversations to have with your children. But at the same time these conversations should be assertive by setting rules and boundaries about internet usage and continuing social rules in online interactions (Ledbetter, 2010). For these reasons a consensual communication pattern is the most preferred, which is high in both conversation and conformity orientations. 

To conclude this post, here are some directions that you can take within your family or future family members to have effective communication and conformity regarding internet behaviors. 

• Make them feel comfortable. Whether you’re talking to your child or other family member you should always start the conversation by making it as low stakes as possible. It lays the ground work for relational trust and vulnerability to grow. 

• Talk freely and honestly about specific issues, problems, and behaviors. Don’t be general or unspecific, voice the concerns and dangers of the internet and how to spot them so that they will know. 

• Make yourself available. Be supportive if they come to you for help concerning any issues that arise. 

• Be stern when discussing internet safety and dilemmas. These issues are real and they can happen to everybody, setting the serious tone can let the other party know that this is an important topic worth listening through.  

• Establish the rules and set the expectation that they will be followed. You are setting the rules for which they should follow, they are set for a reason and you are the authority figure so ensure that the rules are obeyed. 

Coming Up Next 

In the next blog I will be discussing the effect of family and parent-child communication patterns on romantic relationships. Not only how the communication from your family of origin carries into romantic relationships but how the attachment formed at an early age affects how you attach yourself to others.  

Discussion Questions: 

1. How has the internet impacted communication with your family? 

2. If you had open communication about the dangers of the internet with your parent, if you encountered one of those dangers would you feel more inclined to reach out to your parent for support or help?  
3. How would you enforce rules about the internet in your own household?

References 

Arif, W., Rasheed, A., & Hassan, H. (2022). Effects of smart phone addiction on family communication in pakistan. Journal of Media Studies, 37(2), 1–20. 

Ball, H., Wanzer, M., & Servoss, T. (2013). Parent–child communication on facebook: Family communication patterns and young adults’ decisions to “friend” parents. Communication Quarterly, 61(5), 615–629. https://doi.org/10.1080/01463373.2013.822406 

Fitzpatrick, M. A. (2004). Family communication patterns theory: Observations on its development and application. Journal of Family Communication, 4(3/4), 167–179. https://doi.org/10.1080/15267431.2004.9670129  

Jang, J., & Kim, Y.-C. (2012). The effects of parent–child communication patterns on children’s interactive communication in online communities: focusing on social self-efficacy and unwillingness to communicate as mediating factors. Asian Journal of Communication, 22(5), 493–505. https://doi.org/10.1080/01292986.2012.701314 

Ledbetter, A. (2010). Family communication patterns and communication competence as predictors of online communication attitude: Evaluating a dual pathway model. Journal of Family Communication, 10(2), 99–115. https://doi.org/10.1080/15267431003595462 

Symons, K., Ponnet, K., Vanwesenbeeck, I., Walrave, M., & Van Ouytsel, J. (2020). Parent-child communication about internet use and acceptance of parental authority. Journal of Broadcasting & Electronic Media, 64(1), 1–19. https://doi.org/10.1080/08838151.2019.1681870